


And Say You Shall Forgive Me

by thegirl_APstories



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Blood and Injury, Brother-Sister Relationships, F/M, Fever, Fever Dreams, Forgive Me, Forgiveness, Guilt, Kidnapping, Multi, Older Man/Younger Woman, Other, Pain, Regret, Sad, Sad Ending, anti-Rhaegar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2020-01-16 04:31:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18513949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegirl_APstories/pseuds/thegirl_APstories
Summary: Lyanna Stark had died in a bloody bed, ashamed, scared and begging for forgiveness.~a deeper look inside of the Tower of Joy, Lyanna Stark's final moments and her last conversation with Ned~





	And Say You Shall Forgive Me

It didn’t make sense what she was seeing… delicate, pure white snowflakes danced around her hazy vision and she was certain she could hear little Benjy’s sweet, boyish laughter, somewhere far and distant; she saw the flutter of Brandon’s handsome, dark wolf pelt cloak that she had gifted him on his last nameday and she could almost feel Father gently fixing her errant hair… so alike her Mother’s. It was a pretty picture, one she would’ve gladly stayed inside, but the air smelled of something foul… something not of the North and there was no winter wind or frosty breathe around her. Her vision seemed to flash between the comfort of home and the reality in which she suddenly found herself, the air smelled of blood and those horrid winter roses… the smell choked her as she lay in a damp bed of blood, she never wished to see or smell another rose for the rest of her days. They only reminded her of the countless horrid days that had led her to this very spot, she had once loved the soft, blue petals, but somehow… a simple rose had led to the downfall of a Kingdom… of her family… of everything.

The air was hot and sticky, the sole window was shut and a fire roared in the old blaze: if not for the feeling that she would die at any moment, she would’ve screamed for the midwife to open a window, to stop the blood… to fetch someone, anyone, to save her from this curse. But she couldn’t say a peep as she laid there crying, longing for the cold, wintry landscape of home and for her Father… for Brandon… for Ned… she wanted her family. It hit her suddenly, just how small she truly was, she had played at being an adult for so long, that she oft forgot she had just recently passed her fifteenth nameday; there had been no sweets, no loving words or hugs from anyone… instead she had been locked away in her ‘Tower of Joy’… ha… what an ill-suited name for a prison.

She had felt so grown and wise in Rhaegar’s company, he listened and made her feel valuable… worthy… she was supposed to be a Queen and their babe would end the greatest war, a war that an on a far horizon, one that no one would see for decades to come. Now, she did not feel so special… not as her babe laid in the arms of another whilst she lied here, too weak to even look or hold him. Him. Rhaegar had whispered and shouted that it would be a girl ‘ _Only a girl can led us against the coming fight’_ and how she, Lyanna and the babe, would be the true saviors of the war to come… but that, like so many other things Rhaegar had told her, was a lie. It was all a lie.

Rhaegar it seemed had been a pretty lie himself… he’d come to her in the dead of night and whispered the sweetest words and had begged her to come with him… she couldn’t run from her destiny and if she didn’t leave with him, than she would be to blame for the failure of the coming war. It seems that war he had gone on and on about had come sooner than he’d thought. She remembers asking if they would kneel before the Weirwood and declare their love before he would kiss her sweetly and sweep her off to the most beautiful Keep in the world… but he had laughed and merely kissed her forehead, saying they could not marry till the babe was born, that was her protection. And so, Ser Arthur had hauled her up onto a horse and they smuggled her across the whole of the Seven Kingdoms, Dorne being the only place she would be ‘safe’. She remembers crying as he had lain with her, it had pinched and burned in a way she never thought was possible… she had only had her moon’s blood for three moons and she had never been told much about beddings… the amount of blood on the sheets the next morning had frightened her.

Oh, if only she had known that beds of blood would become her legacy…. hmm…. someone was screaming, but Lyanna thought she was the only one here?

“ _Lyanna?”_ She blinked away the snowflakes that clouded her vision… that voice? It sounded so familiar…. a hand was suddenly resting upon her cheek and she turned in confusion at the person resting beside her.

“ _Ned?_ ” Her fingers twitched as she looked into her brother’s handsome, sullen, long face, that was so like Father’s and she was so scared that he would disappear with a mere blink. When he did not, she sobbed in earnest as she tried to touch his face, a face she had missed dreadfully and had longed for! He was a man grown now, it seemed, no longer a shy boy who trailed after Brandon or played with little Benjy. “Is that really you?”

He held her hand so tightly… she was certain it was the only thing keeping her tethered to this world… he did not seem to care that blood stained his lips and scruffy cheeks as he gazed down upon her with his kind grey eyes, which seemed to be filled with tears and she felt her lip wobble.

“I-I…I’m… I’m so sorry Ned!” Her voice was a hoarse and broken thing, ugly, just like the room was had been locked in and just like she felt. She was an ugly, horrid, stupid girl… the kingdom had bled because of her and Rhaegar’s folly. “He… he said that I would save the kingdom… that our babe would save everyone…. how could I have been so stupid?” Ned grasped her shaking hand as tears began to fall from his grey eyes… she couldn’t remember ever seeing sweet Ned cry, her honorable and stoic brother.

“You… you were just a child Lya… a grown man should have never stolen you away. You had just turned fourteen an-and he was twenty-four, married and with children of his own! You were never his too take!” She heard his words, but refused to believe them… she couldn’t have been a child, a mere child couldn’t tear apart a Realm.

“He said he loved me… that I was too important to be wasted in the North or on some Lord… and I-I never wanted to marry and have babes… I wanted to be strong and fight, too see the world. He said I had a.. a destiny… one that couldn’t be wasted on a marriage with Robert. Bu… but-but the… the Old Gods surely couldn’t have wanted this for me?” Her feverish mind was working faster than her words, faces and events flashing her mind’s eye on an endless loop.

“The Old Gods are not cruel Lya… th-this is cruel... they would’ve wanted you under the sun, with flowers in your hair and a smile across your face. I know they would.”

“A… a- a Lady never refuses a Prince… the old stories Nan would read for us always said how gallant the princes were… life is not a fairytale brother.”

Her body was wracked with sobs and Ned had placed a hand on her freezing shoulder to still her body, his eyes going back to the red stain the seemed to continue flowing onto the sheets at a rapid pace.

“Ple-plea…please forgive me Ned! Please! I… I never wanted any of this to happen… I begged him to let me go home when Father and Brandon were killed, but he said I could not… not with the babe in my belly! _Please Ned, say you forgive me, and say you shall not hate me!_ ”

Ned cried silent tears as he held onto Lya, like she was his life support, he couldn’t tell which of them was shaking, but he just held tighter as he pressed a kiss to her pale, bloodied hand and moved to wipe an errant, wet curl from her sweaty forehead.

“Don’t you date ask for my forgiveness Lya… you are my family, my pack… I shall always forgive you. Just as I shall always love you.” The words lifted a crushing weight off of her chest and she smiled at Ned as she cried, the bloody bed shaking with the force of them.

“I… I want Father! And Brandon! And Benjy!” Ned tried to shush her, her frantic words slurring together as her eyes seemed to fade behind a haze of thick, salty tears. “I… I want Robert!”

“H-he .. he would’ve loved me… wouldn’t he Ned?”

“Yes, yes he would’ve Lya. In fact, he does, he went to War just to gain you back.”

“We could’ve been married before a Weirwood tree in Winterfell, with everyone watching and smiling… it would’ve been so pr-pret… pretty. Storms End would’ve been cold… I could’ve closed my eyes and been back at Winterfell for a moment….”

Ned’s lip wobbled as he merely sat, listening intently to Lya’s feverish words… his heart pounding away in his chest as he tried to calm the breaking and aching feeling deep within his guts.

“It… it was hot… but I-I think you’ve brought winter with you Ned… the snow and clouds have always clung to you. Ned… can you open the window? I wish to see the snow… one last time.” Ned kissed her hand and moved to open the lone, creaky window, the dark and dank room was suddenly flooded with the blazing hot Dornish sun, but Lya only smiled as she gazed out the window with unfocused eyes.

“ _I hope Benjy is wearing his cloak… it seems so cold out there, he always forgets his cloak. You will make sure he is dressed properly, won’t you Ned?”_

“Yes… yes I will check on him in a little while Lya.” He knelt by her bedside again, taking hold of her freezing hand as he cried silently, a small smile planted across Lya’s once pink, now blue, lips and she seemed almost… happy.

“ _Oh and tell Brandon that I won’t be able to make it to the sparring lesson… oh! You mustn’t tell Father, he would be so upset if he knew I was learning how to swing a sword… you won’t tell on me, will you Ned?”_

“Of course I wouldn’t Lya… yo-you’re secret is safe with me.”

_“You-you should marry Ashara… you smile so much when you dance with her; you need to smile more oft, you are so handsome when you smile.”_ She seemed almost drunk, like she’d had far too many wine skins and it reminded him of when Mother passed… when the fever had set, she had seemed to lost and he felt his body shake as he realized Lya would not be coming back with him.

“ _You must tell Robert that… that I shall marry him when we go back home… so long as he lets me have a horse and a sword… and lets me wear breeches underneath my gowns. I can still be a lady and efficient at the sword….”_

_“Promise me Ned… promise me that you shall tell him. I would very much like to be the Lady of Storm’s End.”_ A sob choked out her last words and Ned nodded, kissing her hand and trying to remember her beautiful grey eyes and her sweet, mischievous smile…

“ _Does he… does he look like Rhaegar?”_

“No Lya, he is the spitting image of you… of the North.” Ned had not spared a glance at the midwife standing silently in the corner, the quiet babe nestled in her arms… he did not care what the babe looked like, only that Lya seemed content that he looked of the North.

_“Good… good, I am glad he does not. Promise me Ned… promise me, that you shall protect him? My sweet baby boy… he is innocent in all of this…”_

“I promise Lya, I shall protect him as if he was my own.”

_“I have never seen a snow storm like this one Ned… it is so beautiful! Do you see it?”_ Her eyes were floating aimlessly in her head, looking up at the dusty, stone ceiling, but Ned smiled and nodded.

“It is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen… do you think Brandon would love it?”

“ _Oh… don’t you see him Ned? He and Father and Mother… they’re all playing in the snow… don’t you see.”_

“Now I do Lya… they all look so happy. Would you like to join them Lya?”

“ _May I? I… I have not seen them in so long and… and I just wish to say hello. I shall be quick, I promise Ned….”_

\--

Ned’s sobs echoed throughout the Tower, he leant over Lya and kissed her hurriedly against her forehead and cheeks… his only sister gone and he had not a clue what to do. He sobbed into her cold, wet hair as he clutched her tightly… how had it come to this? How were he and Benjy the only remaining Starks? Ned softly placed his fingers against Lya’s eyes and shut them, her lips stuck in a gentle smile and he seared this last moment into his memory forever… he wanted to remember every last detail of her soft face; he was Lord of Winterfell now and as such, he would build her a statue in the crypts beside Father and Brandon… they should be surrounded by the souls of their family.

“Milord… would you like to hold the babe?” He snap his head towards the midwife, the older woman taking a cautious step forward with a tightly wrapped bundle in her arms… he wiped roughly at his tears and nodded. The woman hurried and placed the babe in his awaiting arms and he took a deep breath, gazing at Lyanna’s still form once more… give him strength, let him love this babe, no matter how he may look.

“ _Oh… oh Lya….”_

__

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this one-shot after delving deeper into the relationship of Lyanna and Rhaegar, while I understand some people loving the relationship... I've found that I just can't. I never realized that Lyanna was only 14 when she was taken by Rhaegar, who was 23 at the time, and even though Lyanna 'chose' to go with him, I just couldn't help but feel so sorry for her. She was a young, naive and vulnerable girl who was taken from her home by a handsome prince who promised her so much, only to give her a dark, locked Tower room while she fulfilled the prophecy Rhaegar was obsessed with. In a lot of ways, she reminds me of Sansa, except Sansa had the chance to learn and become a stronger, smarter person while Lyanna died in a bed at 15, with no Rhaegar and a failing house and kingdom. I can only imagine how guilty Lyanna felt and how much she must've hated herself during her last moments, I tried to bring her some form of happiness and peace.
> 
> The person I have as a headcanon for Lyanna is actually Malina Weissman, she recently turned 16, but basically her age and overall look from A Serious of Unfortunate Events is roughly what I had in mind. Just to give you a sense and look of just how young Lyanna really was.
> 
> Please leave kudos and some comments, they seriously make my day and I find myself smiling like an idiot every time I get to read a new comment!


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